the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
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