i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
they're like a gay fantastic four
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize