you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
