hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
