So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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