I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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