Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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