in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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