okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
