At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
