just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
