I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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