Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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