I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
