Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
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