party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
