Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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