All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
