you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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