she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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