Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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