Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
