i don't like sucking hair
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
