Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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