no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
