I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
nutella sex= disaster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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