She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
