why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
it was like eating out sand paper
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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