Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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