Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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