Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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