So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Randomize
