Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
