Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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