shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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