I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
