we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
