they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
