I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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