Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
