So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
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He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
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I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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