did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
