I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Randomize
