I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize