nut hugger
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
