i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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