we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
