Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
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