Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Randomize