don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize
