return my video game
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
