is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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