I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
