I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
