even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
