i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
